Do you feel?

We're all walking around with these glossy eyes.

"I'm just tired," we say.

 But you know what?

 It's a load of crap.

Yes, we are tired, but it's not from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that looms over us even though our days are packed. We're tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. So why can't we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible."

 We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with worthlessness, difference with disease.

Why don't we feel more?

We all feel... why don't we show it?

I've cried in front of some of my closest friends. I'm the type of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve.
When something is bothering me the people around me can tell.

Yet I still try and hide it....

It's dumb really.

We're humans.

Humans feel.

So I say screw that fear.

Screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and I'm fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in public, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems.

We are not metal, we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts.

 Because if we do, then what's left to show?

Need to want less.

When I was 6 I wanted a new bike.

When I was 10 I wanted a dog.

When I was 14 I wanted to fit in. I wanted friends.

When I was 16 I wanted a car.

When I was 17 I wanted a girl named Elle. Or more appropriately when I was 15, 16, and 17.

Now I want Everything.

I only need enough to survive.

It’s funny because everything I used to want I got. I’ve gotten a few new bikes, I have a dog, I’m pretty sure I have friends, I have a car, I had a girl.

Some things took longer for me to achieve than others but I have been able to get everything I’ve wanted.

Now those wants have changed or they’re gone.

I still have a bike and my dog is with my parents. The people I call my friends are not the same people I called my friends when I was 14. My car is broken down.

Anyone who knows me at all knows how much my want for that girl has changed.

I know that my wants and my needs have changed a lot. 

Right now all I’m trying to do is survive.

Survival.

That's all.

Later Internet.

#StudentLyfe P.S. follow me on Twitter (@keegandalf)

The end of the semester is so incredibly close.

I'm super excited for Christmas break.

Friends, Family, Relaxation, Snowboarding...


and REAL FOOD!

Living on a budget is not always the funnest thing. I'm actually surprised at how quickly I adapted to life without having my parents there to do everything for me.

Well, not everything. But the important things.

Like cooking and buying groceries.

I think what I'm looking forward to the most has gotta be the chance to slow down and take a break from everything.

Well I guess not everything.

I'm most likely going to be working a lot of hours over christmas break. But I'll get a break from research papers and annotated bibliographies and projects worth half your grade.

I'm actually incredibly stressed out by school right now.

Which is saying a lot because I don't get stressed out to easily.

Take grade 10 for example. I did 70 units in 8 days in june.

For those of you readers that didn't go to Carroll, that's the equivalent of 2 five credit courses and 2/3rds of a three credit course.

I wasn't stressed nearly as much as I am now.

I just can't wait for it to all be over so I can prepare to do it again next semester... and the semester after that... and the semester after that... and the semester after that.... and the semester after that.... and the semester after that... and the semester after that.

And then for the rest of my life.

Awesome.

Except I'm actually really excited to see where I end up in the future.

Okay I gotta not be blogging and finish my plethora of projects.

I'm in essay writing mode.

Mixed with caffeine and apple cider.

Later Internet.

A wise man once said....

These are three quotes that I am trying to live by. I think they're all important and have made me a happier person!!

1. Love.
- Jesus

Love is the most important thing to have at the base of your life.

I'm not just talking about boyfriend - girlfriend love. No.

Love people. It's so easy to take one look at a person and decide that they're unworthy of you. I have been guilty of this. But really, think of how much happier you would be if you had no problems with anybody? If someone has done something to hurt you, forgive them. If you spend all your time angrily stewing about it then it's going to affect your happiness. That person has already hurt you... don't let them control how you feel.

2.Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
- Seneca

We've all been there. That moment when it feels like everything in life is going against you. Every bad thing that could possibly happen to you has happened. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

It's the worst.

But do not EVER give up. No matter what life throws at you, know that you can beat it. You can overcome it.

It's the same with fear. This is gonna sound funny... but when I was like 12 I was watching "Rescue Heroes" on teletoon and in the episode there was an underwater natural aquarium.

It was pretty cool.

Anyways, there was a stupid dumb shark that rammed the glass and broke it. The aquarium started flooding and there were a lot of people were trapped inside.

There was only one exit. Fairly poor design, am I right?

There was one kid who was terrified of water (Tom Komar) and he got trapped behind some debris and the only way he could survive was to swim with a dolphin through a little crack in the debris. Anyways, he was scared and would rather die than swim for 10 feet. So Billy Blazes, local heroic firefighter, talked him into swimming.

 He said "Fear is something inside of you, and you're bigger than anything inside of you, right?"

This inspired the kid to swim and save his life. It was awesome. It's weird that I remember that from when I was a wee little ginger kid...

3. Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter Drucker

Avoid procrastination like it's the plague.

Because it is a plague. One thing procrastinated leads to another and another and another and another and another until you're completely overwhelmed and are wanting to die from all the stress.

Finish your work before you decide to play. Not the other way around.


And on that note I think it's time I go to bed.

Later Internet.

Soccer =)

Yay!

I had my first soccer game of the season today. I just got home from it actually.

I got a couple things on my mind.

First, I kinda like starting with a brand new team in div 6.... This was my first game since outdoor and I managed to score twice.... while playing defence.

So that was nice.

I still got it =)

Secondly, It is 12:30 am...

Which I guess isn't really a big deal right now because I have been slowly developing insomnia thanks to the new Call of Duty... But I really hope this doesn't happen the night before one of my morning classes.

That would suck.


SOCCER!

YAY!!

I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM HAPPY!

That is all.

Later Internet.

Geek Chic.

Alright so I think it's time to geek out a little bit.

First off, I got a job at the Lego store.

Which is great because I am seriously in need of money. I just got some scholarship money in the mail so that makes next semester a whole lot easier.

It's also great because of how much I love Lego. Especially the Star Wars lego. Not gonna lie I think that's indirectly what got me the job.

My friend and I went into the Lego store a couple weeks ago and I was looking at the star wars lego.

"Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it, NEED IT!"

The Imperial Star Destroyer.

Beautiful, isn't she?

Yeah, I know.

The Lego  version has over 3000 pieces and is over a metre long. As I stared (wide eyed, mouth watering) one of the employees started a conversation with me.

We ended up talking about Star Wars Lego for about 20 minutes. He asked for my name and told me to apply.

A couple weeks later...

BOOM

I'm employed.

Moral of the story,

Always talk to strangers. Especially at children's toy stores.

And secondly the midnight release of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 is in 26 hours.

I CAN'T WAIT.

I'm kind of a huge loser when it comes to Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, and video games.

Yesterday I played Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King on my playstation 2 for roughly 4 hours.

What am I doing with my life?

Beating Lord of The Rings.

Duh.

So this month has been extra fantastic with regards to my super nerdy side.

Also season 5 of Chuck premiered.

It was great.

So to sum me up right now I would say that I demonstrate:

Geek Chic, In Hyperdrive.

Yeah, Hyperdrive. Like in the Millennium Falcon.

Be jealous.

Okay now I'm done.

Later Internet.

Sweet Refuge =)

So today I was thinking about my summer....

I miss Mexico.

For those of you that don't know this I went to Mexico this past summer with my church.

We went to Aguascalientes and stayed at the orphanage Dulce Refugio.

IT WAS SO AWESOME!

The people I met are going to be a part of my life forever. Not just the orphans. The people that went on the trip. I think I knew like 4 people before the trip. I mean I knew who most of the people were. I would be able to recognize them.

But I didn't actually know them.

The Mexico trip was amazing because of the life changing experience that it brought. It also introduced me to some of my new, closest friends. I know that I could approach any of the people who were on that trip and I could talk to them about my deepest darkest secrets. I know that they would support me and love me.

I love all of you!! :)

I also miss the orphans.

I was cleaning my room and I found a card that the orphanage gave every member of the team. Mine's made out of pink construction paper. On the front it says (upside down exclamation point) Gracias! por Todo. A couple of the orphans signed their names on the card. There's a group photo of all the kids from the orphanage on the inside.

Every time I look at that picture (or any pictures from the orphanage for that matter) I literally almost tear up.

I miss those kids so much.

I think that we as wealthy North Americans have misconstrued views about many things.

One of these things is mission trips.

When we are getting ready to leave on a trip like the one I went on to Mexico, we think "Awe yeah. Ima show so many people Jesus. I'm gonna bring Jesus to these Mexican kids."

Not gonna lie... That's what I thought was gonna happen. I figured that we would be teaching them a lot about God.

I was wrong.

Being around those kids was the most incredible experience of my life. They taught me so much about the love of God. It wasn't like we had deep, meaningful conversations. No. I only knew "me gusta, no me gusta, si, and hola." They taught through me through the way that they lived their everyday lives.

They were always giggling and smiling and filled with joy.

It was incredible.

When you think of an orphanage you usually think of a place of sadness. A place of despair and hopelessness.

That's not Dulce Refugio.

Those kids were always so pumped! They had beautiful smiles and were almost constantly smiling.

I think one of the most amazing moments with those kids was at their Sunday church service. They were playing worship songs that all us Canadians recognized. Except the words were all in Spanish.

It was so beautiful closing your eyes and just listening to the music. The Canadians singing in English and the Mexicans singing in Spanish.

Wow.

I can't even begin to describe how beautiful it was.

Seeing how joyful those kids were was truly inspiring. Even though I couldn't speak Spanish, and our communication was mostly based on hand signals and failed attempts to speak one another's language, I had a deep connection with those kids.

Especially one little boy named Jose.

I actually miss him so much! He was the cutest little boy ever! Saying goodbye to him was one of the worst moments of my life. I picked him up and hugged him. I told him how much I would miss him. He hugged me back tightly and kissed me on the cheek.

I was already on the verge of tears at this point because of how unbelievably cute he was.

I set him down and turned to leave, still trying not to cry.

As soon as I had turned around little Jose burst into tears. At this point resistance to crying was futile. I picked him up again, hugging him tightly. We're both just bawling our eyes out. I eventually was able to leave him.

I still remember sitting in the van driving away from those precious kids and feeling this horrible heartbreak.

I'm so happy I went on that trip because I learned so much about what it means to love God. Those kids don't have earthly parents. Yet they are still able to be happy every day because they know that they have their heavenly Father looking out for them.

I miss those kids and that orphanage every day. I want to go back. I think I will one day.

Once I have money.

I guess that's all I have to say.

Later Internet.

I can't even paraphrase this cuz it's so true.

So I was searching the interwebz for some inspirational thing that would spark my chain reaction of thoughts which would lead to blogging.

This is what I found.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2bshVL/pete.com/view/quote-vs-reality

It is truth.

That is all.

Later Internet.

And in the Daylight I don't pick up my phone, 'cause in the Daylight anywhere feels like home.

So as I was walking home from my super gross and boring evening class, I noticed that the stars were super clear and super pretty.

I literally stopped dead in my tracks and just stared at the sky for a solid 5 minutes.

It was especially awesome because a really serene, peaceful song had just started playing on my iPod.

Anyways, I was standing there looking at the stars and I thought to myself "Man, I wonder how many people have the opportunity to see this right now but are in too much of a rush to actually notice it?"

It seems sad to me how God can put something so incredibly beautiful right next to us and we will ignore it. I mean the night sky on a clear night is breathtaking. Yet most people that read this post probably didn't notice it tonight.

I don't really know where I'm going with this.

I guess what I kinda want to say is that people need to slow down.

I don't mean stop everything you're doing. No, that would be incredibly counter productive.

What I mean is that we should take some time to just enjoy life and enjoy the beauty of nature.

This past summer I went camping with my family in Whitefish, Montana. Our campsite was a 2 minute walk from the lake. I remember waking up in the morning and walking down to the dock. I would sit on the dock and just stare out at the water. It was perfectly still. Every morning. I would just sit there and stare at the beauty of the lake and the mountains and the forest. It was breathtaking.

Thinking back on the trip, I really wish that one of those mornings I had the common sense to grab my parents camera and take a couple pictures of the scene. I guess I didn't care as much about photography as I do now.

Which BTW I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY! I kinda know what I'm doing now and it's just so much fun. If you ever need pictures taken I'm your man!

Anyways, back to beautiful nature and all its beautiful beauty. I can't wait for winter. I know that sounds crazy but there are certain things I absolutely love about Canadian winters. Obviously there are things I hate. The -40 temperatures, the super awful wind (which is always awful unless you're flying a kite or sailing) and the terrible Calgary drivers becoming even more useless behind the wheel at the first thought of snow. All those things suck.

But winter is a really beautiful time of the year. The snow covers all the dirt and garbage of the city in this beautiful, pure, white blanket. Unfortunately, within 6 hours, so much gravel has been laid down that most of the snow in the city is caked a dull grey or yucky brown.

Which is why I love living in Calgary.We live only a couple of hours away from Banff. I think that Calgarians get so used to the proximity of Banff that we forget how awesome it really is.

I mean at my old house I could walk out onto my back deck, look to the west and see the Rocky Mountains.

We forget that we are incredibly lucky to be leaving so close to somewhere that beautiful.

I guess what I wanna say is that we need to slow ourselves down and look around every once in awhile. There is so much beauty that we miss in our world because we are so focused on one thing that we don't acknowledge anything else.

I think it's kinda sad.

But that could just be me.

Later Internet.

Metaphor for life

A good metaphor for life is a man trying to eat soup out of a spaghetti strainer.

He goes super fast because he's trying to get the good stuff, but no matter how much he gets, he just ends up with a bunch of soup all over his pants. And then he eventually dies of old age.

I am not good at metaphors.

Later Internet

My friends say I should act my age. What's my age again? What's my age again?

I've only been alive for 18 years. I still have a lot to learn from life, but I also think that I have learned some pretty important things in life. Here's 18 things I have learned so far. I know that I will be updating this list as I grow up.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

It isn’t.

Deal with it.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

If you want to change something you can’t be afraid of moving forward.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Because I love love and I hate hate.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

There’s billions of people in the world... You’re not as important as you think you are.

5. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

He created the universe. I don’t think you’re temper tantrum is gonna phase him.

6. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

You don’t know what other people have gone through. 

7. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

You shouldn’t be embarrassed to be with that person.

8. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

It’s why I’m not stressin’

9. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

It’s good to be expressive.

10. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

Don’t let other people influence the way you think or feel.

11. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

If you truly love something or someone then you won’t be able to take no for an answer.

12. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

Pretty much describes me.

13. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

If you’re not in charge of your happiness then are you really happy?

14. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

People overreact. The biggest, most dramatic, devastating moment in your teenage life is so incredibly small and insignificant in the overall plot of your life. Chill.

15. Always choose life.

I think this one’s fairly straightforward.

16. Forgive everyone everything.

Holding grudges suck. And they’re dumb. Just like the people that hold grudges.

17. God loves you because of who He is. Not because of something you did or didn’t do.

There is nothing that you can do that will make God love you any more or any less than he already does.

18. Believe in miracles.

If you don’t then there will be times in your life when you have no hope. Believe in miracles and you will always have hope.

I think i’ve written enough today.

Later Internet

Control yourself, take only what you need from it.

If I decided to join an internet dating site I would probably fill out my bio or whatever it is like this:

I enjoy ice cream, an insightful cartoon, and long walks on the playground.

I think that as we get older we almost forget to have fun with things. Everything becomes more complicated, and people withdraw more and more.

Remember as a kid, playing on the playground how easy it was to just pretend and play for hours? For me lunchtime was always too short.

I also wish it was as easy to make friends as it was as a kid. When you're a kid you don't judge people, everyone is WAY more innocent.

I don't get why as we get older making friends has to be so complicated. It's stupid. Why should I have to live up to your expectations to be your friend?

It's the same with romantic relationships. Think back to your very first crush. It was awesome! To you, that person was the greatest person ever.

And then came "The Note"

Do you like me?
Check yes [] or no []

I think that is still the best way to ask someone if they like you. Just be straight up and blunt. Quit playing those stupid games. They're way too confusing. And they're not fun!

Games are supposed to be fun....

So I guess my point is that even though growing up is inevitable and really important I think that we should also ensure that we don't lose our childlike wonder and childlike simplicity.

Later Internet

Shoutout to Nora

I told you I would blog about how you have given me first dibs to date your daughter when she turns 16.

that is all.

Later Internet

Keegan Olson's Tips for Having Fun at the Dentist.

So I just got home from my dentist appointment and I would like to share with you guys how I make it funner. Also I think that funner should be a real word so I'm gonna use it.

Haters gonna hate.

Okay back to the dentist and fun thing.

Tip #1: Always get your entire mouth frozen.

No matter what you are going to the dentist for, try and get your mouth frozen.

You may be thinking "What???? That's dumb. Getting your mouth frozen is awful!"

False.

When your mouth is frozen it's so much fun to try and communicate with other people. Example: The receptionist gave me my receipt and I attempted to say "Thank You." Instead it came out as "Thaaaaannnnn Ooooo."I thought it was hilarious and I sang along with every song on the drive home.

Also eating and drinking with a frozen mouth is the coolest thing ever! You don't feel the food or drink but you taste it.... It's really weird.

Tip #2: If you have to get a filling, or they're drilling or something like that, stay up all night beforehand and sleep at the dentist.

Dentist chairs are a surprisingly good place to take a nap. There's good neck support, the back angle is terrific, and you can watch T.V. until you fall asleep.

Also the sounds of the drill make your dreams epic.

Today I dreamt that I was a racecar driver and the sounds from the drill were the sounds of my engine. It was awesome!

Tip #3: Be friendly and have a conversation before they stick their fingers in your mouth.

When you're interacting with other human beings it makes any situation much more enjoyable. For instance, today when the dental assistant came in she asked me how I was doing. I said that I was doing quite well, except I was chapped because I was missing waffle wednesday. (Waffle wednesday is exactly what it sounds like, every wednesday me and my cousins/roommates ingest as many waffles as we can before heading to class. It's great) I explained waffle wednesday to her and we started talking about food. We talked about chicken and waffles, and whether you put the chicken on the waffles or if you eat them separately, then she told me to try chicken nuggets dipped in honey sauce. Sounds pretty good. Then I told her about dipping fries in frosty and how that is actually the most delicious, yet unexpected, combos in the world.

Because we had a little bit of a "friendship" I felt more comfortable with her putting her fingers in my mouth.

Wait... that sounds really creepy.....

Meh whatever. I slept through it anyways.

SIDENOTE: My jaw and lips feel HUGE! I wonder if this is what it feels like to be obese? Probably not. I really wish that I had a bunch of that freezing stuff and I could just freeze my mouth whenever I wanted.... It's so fun.

I think that's all I want to say for today...

Later Internet.

Yes. Yes I did write an essay about flossing.

        In today’s society if you wish to be successful and get the most out of life you are required to work hard and be diligent. For you to obtain a Masters degree for instance, you must go through years of schooling. You must listen attentively in countless lectures. You must study and prepare while you stress about important tests. You must ensure that every deadline has been met and that the quality of your work is at its best. For you to achieve that goal you must be devoted to the area of study that you are in. It takes a lot of hard work. The same can be said of oral hygiene. I hate flossing with a passion. However, I am a very vain person so therefore I like to look my best. I brush my teeth two times a day, everyday. My dentist tells me I am excellent at brushing my teeth. He also tells me that I need to floss. I hear that every time I go to the dentist. I usually disregard it as nonsense. A way for the toothbrush industry to squeeze a little more cash out of the average person. At my last check up I was informed that I had a cavity. I was shocked. My dentist told me that the cavity was a result of not flossing my teeth. I realized that in order to maintain a healthy mouth I needed to start to floss. The decision  to floss was one that I knew was going to require a lot of hard work, discipline and diligence.

There are many obvious difficulties when it comes to flossing. Flossing is a lot of hard work when you compare it to brushing your teeth. Brushing your teeth is a relatively simple task. You squeeze a little bit of toothpaste onto the bristles of your toothbrush and you gently scrub away the plaque on your teeth. Flossing is a a different story. You must wrap the dental floss around your fingers and force the floss into the nonexistent gaps in between your teeth. Not only does the floss cut off circulation to your fingertips, but it also involves you placing your dirty, well worn fingers in your mouth. To me it seems counter productive. To effectively clean your mouth you must first place something dirty inside of it. 

By avoiding the grueling struggles associated with flossing I am plagued with dental problems. Every time I go to the dentist the dental assistant pokes and pricks the delicate areas of my mouth. She will continue to jab my mouth with her metal instrument all the while saying “Oh my. See how much your gums are bleeding? You need to floss more.” The pain is unbearable. If flossing can result in invulnerability to the crazed dental assistants torture instruments then maybe it could be worthwhile. This past trip to the dentist revealed that I had a cavity from a lack of flossing. Not only did I have to endure the torture at the hands of the dental assistant, but I also have to endure the horrors of getting a filling. My mouth will be frozen rendering it useless, I will be forced to fast for half of the day and worst of all, I will be summoned to the dentist offices at 9:15 in the morning. the news I received at the dentists office that day made me realize that I needed to make some serious changes regarding my oral hygiene.

In order to overcome the dental issues associated with a lack of flossing I have had to work hard and remain diligent in my goal of obtaining perfect oral hygiene. I have had to ensure that I remember to floss at least once a day. The results of my hard work have included a healthier mouth, a brighter smile, better breath and I am no longer tortured by the dental assistant every time I go to the dentist. I actually enjoy going to the dentist now because I receive compliments on my oral health and my already healthy mouth gets a more thorough cleaning. I was able to overcome the struggle of not flossing enough with hard work and diligence.

During my journey towards proper oral hygiene I learned some valuable lessons. I realized that absolutely every goal in life requires hard work. Whether it be becoming a professional athlete, getting a degree or something as simple as flossing everyday, it will take lots of hard work. Some goals may require much more work than others but everything in life requires that you work hard and are diligent. If you have those two virtues, then you will be much more likely to obtain your goals and will likely live a much more fulfilling life.

Music!!

Hey there internet!

I'm in a really good mood today and I thought I might share why with you!!! YAY!

Okay so the first reason is that I finished my super hard, super long essay. So that's a positive.

And secondly I found an awesome super happy song!! It's called sol. by Mausi.

If you haven't heard it you should check it out. I love music so much because of the affect it can have on your day. If you are having an average day and you hear a song that's ridiculously happy then generally you'll be happier. At least that's how it is with me.

It can have the opposite affect as well. When I'm in a bad mood or am upset about something I'll listen to City and Colour. Makes me feel more sad. Sometimes that's a good thing though. I've come to the realization that if you try and act happy all the time and try to bury your actual feelings then terrible things can happen. For me, I know that people view me as that kid that's always happy. And yes generally I am in a good mood. But there was a time not too long ago when I went through a rather difficult time in my life and I was super duper depressed. I would put on my happy face and try to hide how I was really feeling in an attempt to please the people around me. I figured that they wouldn't really enjoy being around a debby downer. AKA me at that point in time. So instead of wearing grey on grey and being a sad panda, I would force myself to be happy and cheerful about everything.

Needless to say, that was a terrible idea. I didn't tell anyone how I really felt and I felt totally alone.

I'm not trying to bash my friends or anything. I'm sure that if I had been unhappy about everything they would have supported me and everything would have been fine. But, I dunno, I guess I was afraid of being that sad kid in the group. You know?

But it's okay because now I can legitimately say that I am happier than I have ever been in my life. And I'm filled with this incredible joy and it's awesome!

So back to my original point about music. I really like music that makes me feel happy because it corresponds with my mood. So if you need a little happy right now try this playlist! =)

sol. - Mausi
Young Blood - Naked and Famous
Daylight - Matt and Kim
High of 75 - Relient K
1901 - Pheonix
This Too Shall Pass - OK GO
Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
Float On - Modest Mouse
Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club
Flux - Bloc Party
Little Secret - Passion Pit

Hopefully one of those songs made you smile =)

Later internet.

Growing up.

Okay so before you read this you have to listen to this song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9Yexok3UI8

When I listen to that song it makes me think one thing....

"Dang... I'm lonely!"

Hahahahah I promise this will get happy.

It also makes me think of my parents. They've been married for almost 20 years now. When I look at them I see what I want to have when I get older. And I'm excited about that. My parents were both in their early 20's when they got married. So potentially I could be meeting my future wife... That is one of the most exciting and terrifying things that has been on my mind lately. Exciting because I really wanna be in love. I'm a big ol' softie =). And terrifying because... well... because it's scary to grow up. Think about it... if you were given the choice to stay in the safety and security of your loving home with minimal responsibilities and no fear of the unknown then why would you ever leave? You would be looked after, could play as much Call of Duty as you wanted and would never have to worry about anything.

So why would you ever want to grow up?

Because that is a very unfulfilling life. People aren't meant to be alone. God created us with the need for relationships. That's why Adam was given Eve. I mean he's already living in the Garden of Eden. It's heaven on earth. Yet God still gave him Eve. Humans need that relationship. I know it's something that I really can't wait for.

With that being said... I'm done with settling. I don't know who my future wife will be... but I do know that she will be more amazing than any other girl I've loved. The woman that I'm meant to be with is going to be incredible and I can't wait to meet her.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I've definitely grown up A LOT even since high school. If you asked me what I would have thought about growing up and being independent last year I would have told you that I was terrified. Heck, I still am terrified. But it's an incredible realization when you understand "Hey, I CAN do this. I can totally survive independently."

Funny how this whole rant came from one simple love song... but hey that's how I think I guess. So now I gotta stop using the internet as a blatant distraction from my homework. It's essay time.

Later internet.

Writing

So i'm currently in the process of writing 1 of 3 essays for next week and I think it's time to rant about writing. okay here we go:

the thing that bothers me with writing is the expectations that are demanded from the reader. When's the last time you've read an award winning novel or some super in depth article and not had to look up a word? Writers tend to try too hard to sound intelligent. I guess it' not necessarily a bad thing but I dunno. I guess I just hate it when something can be expressed in a very simple, elegant way, but instead the writer will use long, complex words and the main idea can be lost in all of the clutter of the writing. I read somewhere that great writers use very clear, to-the-point language. And that to be a good writer you need to be clear and to the point. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hate when you get conflicting messages about writing from different educators. For instance, at my high school if you wrote an essay one way and teacher x got it you would get a 90%. however if teacher y got it you would get a 60%. The same thing happened vice versa if you wrote the essay to teacher y's strategy. I think that there needs to be a clear and precise way to write an essay. That way marks can be more fair. It's the same with interpreting what you think an author meant. You're not interpreting what the author meant... you're interpreting what the teacher THINKS the author meant. ugh dumb english. I love/hate you. just like call of duty hahahah

okay that's it. I gotta finish this essay.

PCE OUT YO